Editing Template:Confusious

{{#switch: {{rand| <!-- The following number must match the total number of featured listed below: --> 150 }}
|  0 ="Man like baby - want to suck tit all day."
|  1 ="Man who screw blender no longer man."
|  2 ="Some Men like guns - shoot blanks."
|  3 ="Men who put cream in tart not always bakers."
|  4 ="Man who walk in middle of road get hit by bus."
|  5 ="Man who let woman on top is fucking up."
|  6 ="Woman who spend much time on bedspring may get offspring."
|  7 ="Sex on beach is like American beer - fucking near water."
|  8 ="Man who masturbate only screwing himself."
|  9 ="Schoolboy OK to masturbate as long as it's not against Principal."
| 10 ="Schoolboy who mess around with school girl during wrong period get caught red-handed."
| 11 ="Wise man not play leapfrog with unicorn."
| 12 ="Better to be pissed off than pissed on."
| 13 ="Man who gets kicked in testicles left holding the bag."
| 14 ="Man who kiss girl's behind get crack in face."
| 15 ="Man who snatch kiss when young, kiss snatches when old."
| 16 ="Girl who douche with vinegar walk around with sour puss."
| 17 ="Girls should not marry basketball players because they always dribble before they shoot."
| 18 ="He who fuck tailpipe may burn rod."
| 19 ="It take square ass to shit brick."
| 20 = "Woman who dance while wearing a jock strap have make believe ballroom."
| 21 ="A girls best asset is her liability ('lie'ability)."
| 22 ="Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor."
| 23 ="Man who marries a girl with no bust has a right to feel low down."
| 24 ="Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts."
| 25 ="He who fishes in another mans pond will often catch crabs."
| 26 ="Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands."
| 27 ="Wash your face in morning neck at night."
| 28 ="Man who take woman on camping trip have one intent."
| 29 ="He who refuses to listen is lying."
| 30 ="When lady says no, she mean maybe. When lady say maybe, she mean yes. When lady say yes, she no lady."
| 31 ="Woman who not practice sex before marriage is sentenced to an interminate length."
| 32 ="He who sniffs coke drowns."
| 33 ="Crowded lift smells different to midget."
| 34 ="Man who screws near graveyard is fucking near dead."
| 35 ="Man who piss into wind get wet."
| 36 ="Never eat yellow snow."
| 37 ="Boy who plays with himself pulls boner."
| 38 ="Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloons."
| 39 ="Man who sleeps with old hen finds it's better than pullet."
| 40 ="He who outruns the cheetah is fucking fast on his feet." 
| 41 ="He who sitteth on upturned tack shall sureley rise."
| 42 ="Even the greatest of whales is helpless in the desert." 
| 43 ="The hand that turneth the knob opens the door." 
| 44 ="He who go to sleep with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger."
| 45 ="Best way to prevent hangover is to stay drunk!"
| 46 ="Preserve wildlife - pickle a hedgehog!"
| 47 ="Passionate kiss like spider's web - soon lead to undoing of fly."
| 48 ="Virginity like bubble.  One prick - all gone!"
| 49 ="Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.
| 50 ="Man who walk thru airport turnstyle sideways going to Bangkok."
| 51 ="Virgin with thimble on finger never feel prick."
| 52 ="Man with one chopstick go hungry."
| 53 ="Man who go to bed with diarrhea wake up in deep shit."
| 54 ="Man who fuck turkey eat stuffing."
| 55 ="Man who fuck ugly dog get howled at."
| 56 ="Man trapped in sewer eat shit and die."
| 57 ="Hockey player on ice have big stick."
| 58 ="Man who go to McDonald's eat out stinky meat."
| 59 ="Boy who diddle little girl do diddly squat."
| 60 ="Man who lifts stones off woman get rocks off."
| 61 ="Man who get paid pick up chick."
| 62 ="Penis put in vacuum cleaner get sucked off."
| 63 ="Man who pull out too soon get hit in rear end."
| 64 ="Man who eat pussy do lip service."
| 65 ="Man who fuck pig eat ham."
| 66 ="Pentocostal who pass out get laid in church."
| 67 ="Woman who turn back on lover get fucked over."
| 68 ="Woman who eat banana get cream in mouth."
| 69 ="Priest with dick in snow like cold one before mass."
| 70 ="Man trapped in whore house get jerked around."
| 71 ="Man with dick in peanut butter is fucking nuts."
| 72 ="Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails."
| 73 ="Man with tool in woman's mouth, not necessarily a dentist." 
| 74 ="Man who paints on toilet door is a shithouse painter." 
| 75 ="Is good for girl to meet boy in park but better for boy to park meat in girl."
| 76 ="Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time."
| 77 ="Fool climb tree to get cherry.  Wise man spread limbs."
| 78 ="Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam."
| 79 ="Man who eat many prunes get good run for money."
| 80 ="Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock."
| 81 ="Man who buy drowned cat must pay for stinking wet pussy."
| 82 ="Man who meows ate pussy!"
| 83 ="Man with hand in pocket is having a ball."
| 84 ="Those who quote me are fools."
| 85 ="Baseball is wrong.  Man with four balls cannot walk!"
| 86 ="Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it."
| 87 ="Work to become, not to acquire."
| 88 ="Show off always shown up in showdown."
| 89 ="Put rooster in freezer to get a stiff cock."
| 90 ="Man with no legs bums around."
| 91 ="Man who pull out too fast leave rubber."
| 92 ="Baby ill-conceived in automatic car shiftless bastard."
| 93 ="A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose."
| 94 ="Find old man in dark, not hard!"
| 95 ="Confucius say too fucking much!"
| 96 ="Man who smoke pot choke on handle."
| 97 ="It is Ok for shit to happen.  Shit will decompose."
| 98 ="When in doubt, whip it out."
| 99 ="A man with his hands in pockets feels foolish, but a man with holes in pockets feels nuts."
| 100 ="Woman who wear G-string, high on crack!"
| 101 ="War doesn't determine who's right.  War determines who's left."
| 102 ="Man who put head on Rail Road track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache."
| 103 ="Girl who marry detective must kiss dick."
| 104 ="Girl who is wallflower at party is dandelion in bed."
| 105 ="Girl who go to bachelor pad for snack get tit-bit."
| 106 ="Man have more hair on chest than woman, but on the whole woman have more."
| 107 ="Girl laid in tomb may soon become mummy."
| 108 ="Sailor who gets discharged from navy leave buddies behind." 
| 109 ="No difference between man and mouse.  Both end up in pussy." 
| 110 ="Woman is like jazz music, 3/4 jazz time and 1/4 rag time." 
| 111 ="Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house." "Man who sleep in cathouse by day, sleep in doghouse by night."
| 112 ="Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk." 
| 113 ="Man with hand in bush not necessarily trimming shrubs." 
| 114 ="Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!" 
| 115 ="If you park, don't drink, accidents cause people." 
| 116 ="Man with athletic fingers make Broad Jump!" 
| 117 ="House without toilet is uncanny." 
| 118 ="Many men smoke but Fu Manchu." 
| 119 ="He who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser."
| 120 ="While others are inside sitting down, you will be outstanding."
| 121 ="Is good to learn how to masturbate, may come in handy!" 
| 122 ="Man who tell one to many light bulb jokes soon burn out!" 
| 123 ="It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it."
| 124 ="Never raise hands to angry child, it leave groin exposed."
| 125 ="Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot is unsanitary."
| 126 ="Man who go out with flat chested woman feel shallow."
| 127 ="Man that have sex with hole in ground have piece on earth."
| 128 ="Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons." 
| 129 ="Man who bounce woman on bed spring this spring have offspring next spring."
| 130 ="Woman with bleached blonde hair have black hair by cracky." 
| 131 ="Man who masturbate into cash register, soon come into money."
| 132 ="Wife for life is better than wife for strife."
| 133 ="Man who sink into woman's arms soon have arms in woman's sink." 
| 134 ="Man who drive like hell bound to get there!" 
| 135 ="Girl with little red bike peddle ass all over town!" 
| 136 ="Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!" 
| 137 ="Girl who slides down banister nude gets splinters by crackey!"
| 138 ="Rape no good.  Woman run faster with dress up, than man can with pants down."
| 139 ="Man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with solution in hand."
| 140 ="Better to sleep with chicken than to choke it."
| 141 ="All blonde not blonde by cracky."
| 142 ="Man who sit on tack get point!"
| 143 ="Man who runs behind car gets exhausted!"
| 144 ="Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion!"
| 144 ="Man who lose key to girlfriend's apartment get no new-key!"
| 145 ="Woman who fly plane upside down have hairy crack up!"
| 146 ="Man who has woman on ground has piece on earth!"
| 147 ="Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!" 
| 148 ="Man who fart in church sit in his own pew!"
| 149 ="Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day!"
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[[Category:Templates]]